Friday, March 14, 2008
I Don't Know
There are so many things that I want to say, I just can't make the words come out. I go through it over and over in my head and I just can't think of the words for what I'm feeling. I quit my job, for many reasons, mostly because I couldn't be happy doing it. I'm going to apply to school and hopefully start in the summer semester so that I don't have too much time to sit around and think. My Mom talked me into going to a school closer to home so that I can still live here, at least for now. I think maybe after a couple of semesters I'll maybe want to move out. She doesn't understand the way I feel right now, she's in denial about it. I told her that I was depressed, it's obvious, and she continues to ignore it. She thinks that if she ignores it it will go away. She got all upset when I told her that I wasn't going to do the job anymore. Now pretty much every time I talk to her she tries to make me feel guilty, like I'm putting her out or something. Well I'm so sorry that my depression is so inconvenient for her. I realize that it's a selfish thing to say, but if I can't be happy then what is the point in anything for me.