Saturday, August 30, 2008

I Wish I Could Hate You

I try to tell myself that I have changed. I try to change, I want you to be wrong. Nothing has changed. I'm the same depressed, useless person I have always been. I try, I try every day to be better, but I can't. I feel like I almost changed, but you left me unfinished, and now I'll never get that chance again. So thank you, for leaving me when I needed you the most. Thank you for abandoning me. I know that you only did what was best for you, but that doesn't mean that I can't be mad about it. I wish I could hate you.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Lateral Release

So I finally went to see the orthopedic surgeon this morning. Apparently my patella isn't tracking properly because of tight ligaments. So on the 10th of September I will be having surgery to fix the issue. It's going to put me into some serious debt, but it has to be done. I'm just glad that I finally know exactly what is wrong and that it's going to be fixed. After 8 years of ignoring it I would say that it's about time that I get it taken care of. So that is where I stand as far as that issue. Everything else is the same, I'm lonely and depressed. I'm hoping that after the surgery and recovery that I can get a normal job that will put me around people my age so that I can start making some friends.

Friday, August 08, 2008

New Endeavors

So, I have decided that with all of my free time I will strike out on a new endeavor. So, without further ado I introduce you to MovieGeek. Here I will be reviewing the majority of the movies I watch. If you know me at all you know that I watch a lot of movies, so there shouldn't be any shortage of content to post about. I will be posting reviews on all of the new movies I see as well as revisiting old favorites, or not so favorites. I hope you all will continue to read this personal blog and that those of you who give MovieGeek a shot will enjoy it.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Of Mice And Medical Bills

So I went to get an MRI on my knee yesterday, that was lots of fun. Laying completely still inside a giant machine that makes loud noises for about an hour. I guess my doctor will get the results today and I'll hear from him tomorrow hopefully. I'm really hoping that it's just a clear case and that there isn't any question what's wrong. I want to just have the surgery for whatever it is and be done with it as quickly as possible. I need to be able to go out and find a job so that I can help my Mom with the bills and such.

We apparently have a mouse problem in our house again. There are construction crews tearing up the field across the street from our house to build a school, so all of the mice are coming to our house apparently. One of them is hiding out in one of the burners on our stove, if you're quiet you can stand and watch it peak it's head out to look around. One of them got caught in a trap last night and my nieces came to get me to take care of it. I told them to look away because they wouldn't want to see it, but they insisted of course. So I showed it to them, it was a really bad one too, the trap almost decapitated the poor thing. I really wish there was a way to get them out of the house without killing them, I hate to kill animals. Insects I'm OK with killing, I hate those bastards, but animals I just don't feel right about killing them.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Knee Problems

I finally went to see the doctor about my knee yesterday. Something I should have taken care of a long time ago. He says that he thinks it's a torn meniscus, which is obviously not a good thing. So I have to go get an MRI on Monday, for which I will have to pay in the neighborhood of $700. If it does turn out to be the meniscus then I will have to have surgery to either repair it or take out the torn part. It all depends on where the tear is. If it's on the outer area they will be able to repair it, which is better in the long run. If it's on the inside they will have to basically cut a section of it out, which can cause problems down the road with arthritis and such things. I don't know how much this is all going to cost, but I would imagine it will easily be in the $5,000 range. I'm going to be in debt forever because of this, and I am completely miserable about it.