Monday, December 24, 2007
I am honestly beginning to believe that I am going to live out my entire life as a virgin. I really can't see myself in any situation where I will have the opportunity to have sex. Hell, I can't even see an opportunity arising that I will even be able to be more than friends with a girl. Simply because of the fact that I want it so badly that it's just never going to happen. It's been about 5 and a half years since a girl actually reciprocated any feelings that I had for them, and even longer than that since the last time I kissed a girl. So long that quite a few of the people I know didn't even know me then. It's certainly a sad state of affairs, and I don't understand how to fix it. I will leave nothing behind in this world when I die, which I suppose is okay, I wouldn't have to worry about leaving anything important behind. Also, I'll never have to worry about losing anyone I love so I suppose that's also a good thing. I really can't comprehend how someone can be so in love and lose that person and ever be able to move on. I would be an even sorrier mess than I am now.