Sunday, December 10, 2006
Have you ever been so bored you just wish that you could be sedated? That's the way I feel everyday now. I don't know why I'm here, in Riverton. I hate it here, of course I would be just as miserable anywhere else. I don't have a job, I wont get a job because of my stupid issues. I'm going to end up working some crap job making minimum wage the rest of my life. I miss the way things were, I miss not worrying, granted it's been a very long time. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to being a kid, not having any huge responsibility. Every time I look outside I feel like I'm lost, I don't belong here. I left my entire life when I moved here and now I wish I could just have it all back, as unhappy as I was it was better than this. I just don't know what to do with myself. I had few enough friends already, and now I've abandoned them and have no friends. I don't know how to make new friends, it's not like it was when I was younger, I can't just go to school and meet people. I've become socially retarded because of my circumstance. I owe so much money, I still have to pay my dentist for fixing my teeth. Not to mention my brand new car payments, talk about bad timing for buying a car. I'm lost, I've been lost for a long time.