Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Loss Of A Friend
I just found out that an old friend of mine who I haven't been in contact with was murdered. She was 8 months pregnant with her third child and was brutally murdered for an unknown reason. The probable cause right now is for the handful of quarters she had with her as she was changing out newspapers from a vending machine and taking out the quarters. As I mentioned I haven't been in contact with her, we were friends in High School and when I dropped out we just lost contact. I remember one day after having not talked with her in at least 6 months she called me up to invite me to her wedding reception. Now there's something you must understand about this girl. She was always insisting that she never wanted to have sex or kids, obviously she was lying to herself because she was very excited when she found out that she was pregnant and her boyfriend asked her to marry her. I never would have admitted it back then to anyone, but I was very mad at her for all of this. For not telling me what was going on until it was too late, for not inviting me to her actual wedding. For getting pregnant and married. Like I said, I never would have admitted it back then but now it seems so petty. I can only imagine what my life would have been like had I kept in contact with her. If I could have put aside my petty feelings and actually tried to get in touch with her, and now I'll never have that chance. I don't believe in anything in particular about what happens to us after we die, and I don't really care to know. But I would like to believe that you are in a better place Jenna. I love you and will never forget you, you were one of the best things in my life, however short a time you were in it. You were the brightest star I have ever known and you deserved better than this. I can only hope that you were able to enjoy the love of your husband and two children and I know that their lives will be so much harder without you to take care of them. I'm so sorry for not being a good friend to you even when you were trying harder than me. I will never forgive myself for the mistake of not being your friend because of my stupid jealousy about your happiness. Goodbye my dear friend.